👿 The madness of net zero

I bend like a contrarian reed against the breeze of popular opinion. Then, when the breeze shifts, I bend against it the other way.

A fellow hands out pamphlets at Norwich market.

I take him in with great interest. He’s the latest in an unbroken line of pamphleteers who have stood on this spot since the market began in the 1400s. Pro or agin particular concerns of the age.

I instinctively wave away his pamphlet. I walk on fifty yards. I stop, turn around and trot back to get one off him. There’s something unusual about him. He doesn’t look like a pamphleteer. He looks like he’s a regular at open-air music festivals. He looks like he’s dropped a few tabs of acid in his day. I suspect he’s a vegan activist. They’ve been harassing my sheep dealer, so I’m curious to see what his, er, beef is.

I’ve totally misjudged the man.

I’ve got a vague sense of this 15-minute neighbourhood thing.

I came across it in the same place I come across all my news: the Dereham & Fakenham Times. They call it a 20-minute neighbourhood. Everything you need within a 20 minute walk or bike or something. Hopefully not bike, cos rain. The idea is that locals won’t need as many cars, perhaps they won’t need any cars. I think - or thought - it sounded like a good idea. The more fool me.

Turns out it’s another gummint plot to disenfranchise me. Again.

The pamphlet starts to make a ton of sense.

Those gummint bastards.

Before I get the chance to write to my MP, and google the facts and email my support to the anti-google protonmail address, I come across an article in the Dereham Times.

I don’t need to 🔫 my shot. The neighbours have spoken and it’s all over for the 20-minute neighbourhood.

The good people of Thetford force the council to deny they are even thinking of exploring the idea of reducing traffic in their ancient town.

Various local councillors (conservative) who proposed the idea in the first place (!) now disavow the fact that they proposed it in the first place (!!).

Graham Plant (inset) has confirmed no formal work has happened over 20-minute neighbourhoods in Norfolk and ruled out low-traffic neighbourhoods.

EDP

Oh I get it. Someone floated it to test the waters and it sank.

Even the prime minister feels obliged to backpedals on the issue. If a 🚲analogy is appropriate for this pro-🚘 turnaround.

"I just want to make sure people know that I’m on their side in supporting them to use their cars to do all the things that matter to them."

Even if what matters to them is chugging at snail’s pace through the gridlocked main street of a village that was designed in the middle ages to accommodate pedestrians and the occasional donkey pulling a dung cart.

Now I’m all nostalgic for the 15/20-minute village that never was.

Or rather, used to be about 200 years ago and got modernised.

✅ It makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. Our potentially pretty village square/green is clogged with parked cars and double decker buses. It’s a nightmare to navigate with a small child. Thin sidewalks abut single lane roads with cars and trucks rattling by. Traffic goes slow, but that means it emits more yuck. It seems smart to clear it out of the middle of the village. Given ample parking very nearby and all that.

❌ It makes zero sense in lots of ways. The age/size of the good folks of Dereham suggests a body politic that would benefit from the high street being transformed into a drive thru (great 💡 must pitch to parish council). When obliged to walk, they’re slow, halt and lame. The businesses fear the loss of their proven customer base if these good folks (and they are decent) are forced to do anything different. And they might be right.

Regardless, this whole thing has exposed me to an aspect of myself that I’m not fussed about.

It seems I’m a contrarian.

When I thought everyone was agin it, I was for it. When it turned out they might be for it, I turned agin it. Then, when it is revealed that everyone was actually agin it all along, well, I discover that I’m for it agin. I mean… Again.

Perhaps I suffer the madness of zero-sum.