Pitching the Wanker
4 remarkable strokes of luck give me an unexpected chance to shine at Sundance London.
I’m heading to Sundance London, where my short film My Eyes are Up Here continues its eye-popping festival run.
Twenty-some and counting. Every one of them is a surprise and a delight. As a writer, I’m used to lurking at the background of these things. The directors are the stars. The producers are the movers and shakers. As a screenwriter at these things, I feel very much on the undercard - but I love the chance to fly-on-the-wall and see how the work of other similar undercarders - like composers, DOPs and accountants - can give me hints that will make my writing/story proposal work better.
Remarkable stroke of luck #1
In one of the many emails I get from the festival, I notice a notice for a Pitching Session - it describes it as something new, further explained in a video, and entered via a google form.
[The night before] we’ll draw 8 names out of a hat (to make it most democratic) for the 8 filmmakers who have ‘won’ a pitching slot the next day…
…After all 8 pitches, the jury and the audience will vote on two winners…
So it’s kind of like Dragon’s Den, but without the billionaires.
Hey, you can’t win the lottery without buying a ticket.
I sign up. I know there are already 40-odd entries. I doubt that it will be truly random, so I try to pitch something that sounds interesting… the first thing that comes to mind is a feature film project that has been very much in the back of my mind for about 10 years.
It’s called The Wanker.
It’s a film I worked on for a while a few years back, but abandoned due to various story complexities I won’t bore you with, but it’s stuck with me for some reason. I think there’s something in it. But it doesn’t matter. What are my chances of actually pitching it?
I figure they’re so low that my plans don’t get me to London in time for the session.
Stroke of luck #2
The night before, I get an email
Subject: you're selected to pitch tomorrow at Sundance London
Cool! Even cooler to later learn that it absolutely was a random stroke of luck. Several of the other winners have projects that are untitled!
But 😬. I haven’t prepared a darned thing.
Stroke of luck #3
The person organising the pitching session is an experienced pitch coach. The video she makes for the pitching session notice recommends a clear structural framework for the pitch, which I summarise and bastardise slightly for my own purposes here:
Introduce yourself - give people context for you
Introduce the film and its genre
Tell people about your personal connection with the material
Introduce the protagonist/theme
Summarise the plot
Tell them where the film is at (e.g. idea, script, in production) - I mentally rephrase this as ‘call the audience to action’
So I’m starting with a framework, rather than a blank page. Helpful.
Stroke of luck #4
Fresh in my mind, from just a day or two ago, is a Substack article by the head of acting when I was at drama school
(who also coached Jillian Mercado on my short) about… how to prepare for a big performance at short notice!Miranda’s insights are fresh in my mind, so I draw on them as I write, learn and prepare my pitch with ~18 hours notice (including 8 hours sleep).
No problem. I’m excited to combine all four strokes of luck.
My unexpected opportunity, the gifts of a clear outline, and Miranda’s performance preparation techniques (which all revolve around: ‘do the work, don’t let yourself off the hook’).
Because I have to arrange last-minute childcare and expedited travel by car and train from Norfolk to get to London by mid-morning, I’m obliged to focus my prep using Miranda’s ‘brain injury recovery’ modality of learning. Which embraces distraction as a path to focus.
I draft it by voice and mentally during a 90-minute drive. I type it out into the notes on my phone as I wait on a Cambridge train platform. I read it aloud to a person sitting across from me on the train - who is on their way to see the tennis at Wimbledon. They give me a couple of simple, clear and actionable notes!
Then I get to Sundance London, and practice it on a stranger at the networking brunch - who turns out be a film accountant. He offers encouraging feedback and gives me an extraordinary piece of advice regarding tax breaks that will change the way I think about a different project… and then I’m in the theatre, waiting to be called onto stage.
Before I know it, I’m standing at the microphone in front of a packed audience of ~200 people.
I don’t win. But I must have been darn close.
I put my best foot forward. I picked up the ball and ran with it. I seized my opportunity. Can’t do better than that. I don’t feel I could have represented this story any better, and best of all, this pitch proved to be the inception of a magical two days of people coming up to me and talking about my work and theirs.
Thanks universe. It’s lovely to be alive in you.
Thank you for sharing this process! So good to read, and congratulations on the opportunity--sounds like it went so well.