The Whinburgh Poo Tagger's Greatest Sh*ts

A mid-career retrospective of a local Banksy who transforms doggy-do into high art.

My home is surrounded by farm trails and footpaths.

They loop and link and diverge into dozens of delightful walks.

It's perfect dog-walking country, and most of my neighbours let them off leash, as nature intended. It's lovely to see dozens of carefree dogs sniffing about while their owners meander along, a few paces in front or behind.

But an off leash dog is a sneaky poo waiting to happen. As I imply in my open letter (really a love letter) to the Whinburgh Poo Tagger, these discarded dog-logs are the product of an owner's inattention, rather than their malice. But the Whinburgh Poo Tagger doesn't care for the whys and wherefores. WPT's only concern is for justice.

Thus, WPT cannot forgive a single fleck of feculence.

I've watched the Whinburgh Poo Tagger's practice evolve over the last 3 years.

I've had a lot of time to meditate on the sheer breadth and depth of their work.

But I don't want to overwhelm you.

Today, I'll introduce you to this remarkable artist by way of a sample pack. A single caca per category.

A textbook turd.

My first encounter with TWPT - a single stool in the middle of a path.

A decomposing deuce.

One would think there would be the risk of mistaking deer or rabbit scat for a dog jobbie. Never happens!

A lonely log.

Far from the beaten footpath, this fecal matter would crumble unnoticed into the face of the earth but for our hero's eagle eye.

The mother load.

A satisfying (de) composition - more #2 than note.

A dung cake.

A splatty-patty BM with the note offset.

A scat sculpture.

See how the composition at the base of a triangle draws the eye from the crime to the punishment. The first stick is balanced on a rock for 3D relief. The note is then supported by a secondary stick that points towards the reader in admonishment: 'your country needs YOU' (to pick me up).

The manure tree.

Critics claim that TWPT creates more waste than s/he prevents by using plastic laminated notes. Wrong. The straw on the face of this fecal matter suggests it has been manually picked from it's original resting place and transplanted to a position from which it can feed a young tree if it remains unbagged.

Personally, I’m a passionate advocate of ‘stick and flick.’

I first encounter this humane and actionable policy as the guest of King Charles’ on an open day at Sandringham palace.

the great thing about stick and flick is that it can be done by anyone - even if the stool in question doesn’t belong to one’s dog.

But we live in a democracy.

The parish council has deemed that Whinburgh’s grassy trails operate on a strict ‘bag it and bin it’ policy. Just as the great renaissance artists made their reputations on the religious scenes and portraits, so the Whinburgh Poo Tagger must ply their trade on the subject matter afforded to them by the passions of the age. In our case, this is a world where every turd is a travesty.