Death of the Special Patroller

A beloved free-range hamster is harmed in the writing of this play.

Sunday, 21 April, approximately 6pm. The Special Patroller lets out an almighty howl from her cupboard nest. 

S- responds and discovers that TSP has scrambled up the rear wheel of our bicycle, and is trapped bodily in its spokes. S- attempts to free TSP, but TSP is in an agitated state. She bites S- and punctures the skin in two places between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand. 

S- withdraws to staunch the blood. AEM investigates. TSPs body can be freed from the spokes, but TSP’s foot is somehow wedged in a link of the bike chain. AEM flicks the foot out and TSP hits the deck. 

TSPs back right leg is badly broken. Hanging limp. Not a compound fracture. TSP is returned to her cage. She attempts to escape, as is her nature. 

Much googling is done. Jane and Steven arrive for dinner. They have recently spent an undisclosed sum on experimental surgery for an elderly cat. Sympathy and hope are expressed for the hamster’s wellbeing. S- determines that a couple of week’s rest should see …