Profit & Delight

Profit & Delight

Share this post

Profit & Delight
Profit & Delight
Animal Slavery

Animal Slavery

The Pet Emancipation Squad raids my house at 4.30 on a Monday morning.

Arthur Meek's avatar
Arthur Meek
May 13, 2023
∙ Paid
2

Share this post

Profit & Delight
Profit & Delight
Animal Slavery
1
Share

I'm scrubbed, dressed and standing at the door to welcome them like a bell hop.

I was tipped off at 4.15am. Thanks to the courage of my neighbour with the fox.

“It's a wild animal. I don't feed it".

She lives by the village green. Across from the carpark where the PES gathers to brief. What's to discuss? They just screw an earbud into their brains and parrot whatever nonsense comes spewing out of it. Surely they're meat puppets for chatbots?

Thanks for reading Citizens of Nowhere! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

“Are you [my name] of [this address]?”

I am he.

“We have reason to suspect that you are holding a canine being in domestic bondage.”

🙄

“The Animal Slavery Act of 2036 specifically prohibits the bondage of sentient creatures, including canines, as domestic pets.”

My watch pings.

“The push notification you have received is a digital court order. It empowers us, as authorised agents of the Pet Emancipation Squad to undertake a thorough search of this proper…

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Arthur Meek
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share